In which the blogger makes a quick post of the news before he orders holy water and silver bullets

This baby is evil. His conception, his father, the auspicious date and time of his birth, the fact that God let Clay Aiken breed in the first place...

...all signs point to Antichrist.

Clay Aiken is a Father

Tribune wire reports
2:17 PM CDT, August 8, 2008
Former "American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken is a father.

The 29-year-old crooner from Raleigh announced the birth of Parker Foster Aiken on his Web site's blog Friday. "No hyphens. One first name," he wrote. "One middle name. One last name." Aiken's mother, Faye, told Raleigh TV station WRAL the child was born in North Carolina.

Aiken was a favorite of fans during the second season of "American Idol," where he finished second to Ruben Studdard. His album "Measure of a Man" went double platinum in 2003, and he made his Broadway debut this spring in "Monty Python's Spamalot."

The baby's mother is Jaymes Foster, Aiken's friend and record producer whom he met while performing on "American Idol." Their son was born at 8:08 a.m. Friday, and weighed 6 pounds 2 ounces and was 19 inches long, according to the statement on the Web site.

"The little man is healthy, happy, and as loud as his daddy," Aiken wrote. "Mama Jaymes is doing quite well also."

VIDEO: Devil Sheep

In which the blogger wonders if some, um...shit...is fake

Toilet rained giant hailstones to fill building
An Austrian man is demanding substantial damages after he was blasted off the toilet when hundreds of thousands of hail stones exploded out of it.

Martin Bierbauer said: "I heard the pipes rumbling a bit, and suddenly hailstones the size of golf balls started exploding out of the toilet like it was a popcorn machine.

"There was an avalanche of ice that quickly filled the toilet, then the entire flat, and eventually the entire building."

"I ran down the stairs with the hailstones following me, and other residents did the same."

Another resident, Silvia Streit, said: "I grabbed a board and put it over the toilet, but the pressure was so great, I ended up sitting on the board as the hail flowed through the flat and down the stairs."

Freak weather has led to temperatures of over 35 degrees centigrade in Austria which a few days later plunge to near zero as freak hail storms batter the country.

The incident at the block of flats in Eisenstadt, the capital of the province of Burgenland, was caused by hailstones flooding into a local drain during a torrential downpour, which became blocked.

Local council spokesman Wolfgang Leinner said: "The pressure was too great, the hailstones had to go somewhere and they came out through the toilets it seems."

In which the blogger feels calm, which is a nice feeling he wishes to hold onto

'A harbor, of course, is a place of refuge, a port of entry. I pictured the harbor of my mind – a little beat-up, perhaps, a little storm-worn, but well-situated and with a nice depth. The harbor of my mind is an open bay, the only access to the island of my Self (which is a young and volcanic island, but fertile and promising). This island has been through some wars, it is true, but it is now committed to peace, under a new leader (me) who has instituted new policies to protect the place. And now – let the word go out across the seven seas – there are much, much stricter laws on the books about who may enter this harbor.

You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusive thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts – all these will be turned away. Likewise, any thoughts that are filled with angry or starving exiles, with malcontents and pamphleteers, mutineers and violent assassins, desperate prostitutes, pimps and seditious stowaways – you may not come here anymore, either. Cannibalistic thoughts, for obvious reasons, will no longer be received. Even missionaries will be screened carefully, for sincerity. This is a peaceful harbor, the entryway to a fine and proud island that is only now beginning to cultivate tranquility. If you can abide by these new laws, my dear thoughts, then you are welcome in my mind – otherwise, I shall turn you all back toward the sea from whence you came.

That is my mission, and it will never end.'