In which the blogger, upon reading the article, slams his head repeatedly against the desk to empty out the stupid

Tila Tequila Responsible for California's Legalization of Gay Marriage

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- MTV's Tila Tequila, who rose to reality star fame as a bisexual girl looking for love, says she is responsible for the historic legalization of gay marriage in California.

The "Shot At Love" star believes her reality show has influenced the sweeping changes about to take affect throughout the nation's most populous state.

"It is because of me. I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement," Tila told Us Weekly at the Hollywood premiere of "The Love Guru" on Wednesday.

"A Shot At Love" pits men and women vying for Tila's affection against each other in a series of challenges designed to help Tila find the man or woman of her dreams.

"Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]," she said. "Then they realized, 'Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.' The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal."

In addition to reportedly writing a self-help book, Tila, who told the mag she won't fall in love with a man or a woman, has her sights set on something bigger-- a whole continent!

"I am going to Africa," Tila said. "I think maybe I will fall in love in Africa."

VIDEO: Talking to Your Cat About Drugs

VIDEO: Planet Unicorn

To see more, sparkle on over to PlanetUnicorn.tv

In which a friend of the blogger's, a straight friend, shares a gay scientific discovery

"Genetic flaw my a$$. That's a unicorn."

--Rob Helfen, architect, bad-ass MC



ROME - A deer with a single horn in the center of its head — much like the fabled, mythical unicorn — has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday.

"This is fantasy becoming reality," Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press. "The unicorn has always been a mythological animal."

The 1-year-old Roe Deer — nicknamed "Unicorn" — was born in captivity in the research center's park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said.

He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw; his twin has two horns.

Calling it the first time he has seen such a case, Tozzi said such anomalies among deer may have inspired the myth of the unicorn.

The unicorn, a horse-like creature with magical healing powers, has appeared in legends and stories throughout history, from ancient and medieval texts to the adventures of Harry Potter.

"This shows that even in past times, there could have been animals with this anomaly," he said by telephone. "It's not like they dreamed it up."

Single-horned deer are rare but not unheard of — but even more unusual is the central positioning of the horn, experts said.

"Generally, the horn is on one side (of the head) rather than being at the center. This looks like a complex case," said Fulvio Fraticelli, scientific director of Rome's zoo. He said the position of the horn could also be the result of a trauma early in the animal's life.

Other mammals are believed to contribute to the myth of the unicorn, including the narwhal, a whale with a long, spiraling tusk.

In which the blogger's childhood friend, the girl next door, ruminates on the nature of his being

"It shouldn't come as a shock that when I think of the name Felix, I think of a cat.

Straight out of the womb, he was a fighter, a survivor. His entire life he’s been a fighter, a survivor. He will scratch and claw his way to where he needs to be, and if there’s a loophole, he’ll find it. A Leo to the core, Felix knows how to roar.

His curiosity gets him into trouble, but that’s part of his charm. Agile and flexible, his long strides take him from adventure to adventure.

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Felix since adolescence and we’ve been family ever since. Our friendship is a magical one, into which people are rarely invited to really see the true dynamic that exists between us. Our chemistry ensures that it will last forever.

He’s taught me several lessons over the years, and he continues to be my sounding board. He’s one of few people I trust completely. His sound advice helps me through my situations; when I need a friend, I know where to turn. He’s bared his fangs for me and wouldn’t hesitate to bring his back claws into a fight if necessary.

Despite his uncanny ability to hiss in the face of danger, he also knows how to purr and sidestep tragedy. Perpetually on his ninth life, Felix doesn’t stop walking on the tallest fences, knocking over trash cans and stretching out on sidewalks in the sun. Traffic is something for him to laugh at as he travels easily through it.

Yes, yes, I know: he’s not really a cat. But really, the metaphor fits. He does his own thing and doesn’t need anybody to possess him. He chooses his friends carefully and doesn’t feel bad when he doesn’t like somebody. He makes no excuses for who he is, because who he is is all he is. Nothing more, but nothing less."

--Gail T. Kismet, author of the up-and-coming Cunning Stunts.

VIDEO: Country Roses

COCKTAIL: Peach Mojitos

There's something about a mojito that makes me tired. All the muddling and measuring and shopping for ingredients...those Latins love to work. Still, there's nothing quite like that buzz once you get down to the weird, pulpy stuff at the bottom. I haven't tried these yet, but find the picture to be refreshing enough as I sit at my desk and pray for daylight. I really have to start coming to this place drunk*.

*Felix J. Bedingfield would like to state that this phrase is a well-intended joke, and in no way reflects his attitude and/or practices in regards to his day job; also, he suggests you lighten up

Whatcha Need:

3 cups coarsely chopped peeled ripe peaches (about 1 pound)
1 teaspoon grated lime rind
1 cup fresh lime juice (about 4 large limes)
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup packed mint leaves
2 cups white rum
4 cups club soda, chilled
Crushed ice
Iced mint sprigs (optional) <-- only for the homosexuals in the room

Whatcha Do:

1. Place peaches in a blender or food processor; process until smooth. Press peach puree through a fine sieve into a bowl; discard solids.
2. Combine rind, lime juice, sugar, and mint in a large pitcher; muddle with the back of a long spoon. Add peach puree and rum to pitcher, stirring until sugar dissolves. Stir in club soda. Serve over crushed ice. Garnish with mint sprigs, if desired.

In which the blogger reveals that he is, in fact, a mythological being

Cupid's Mission
36" x 24"
Plaster, sand, and acrylic
$1950

My friend Jeanine painted this fresco for her recent showing at Artropolis in Chicago. When she asked me if I'd be interested in being a subject for a piece, I was as flattered as I could ever remember being. Months passed, and my first viewing of the work revealed that she had depicted me as Cupid.

Poetry in motion, kids.

It's a very disorienting experience to see yourself through someone else's eyes. Oh, and to have someone charge two grand for your likeness. I'll never forget this.

Also, check out Jeanine's day job, Fresh Murals.

In which the blogger sets the scene through the use of clever turns of phrase and back-handed hyperlinks

I fawned over a graduate student in the winter of 2005. We were in process of the university’s production of Angels in America: Millennium Approaches, and I had convinced the rest of the production staff that the only appropriate look for his character’s was a dark brown rinse (Jew), to be executed personally each night in the hours leading up to performance. It’s quite obvious, in hindsight, that everyone knew I just wanted an excuse to play with his hair. The show was a resounding success, if you enjoy such a thing, and closing night found me on the graduate student’s bed in the house he shared with three other graduate students, having finally convinced him to make good on a promise to kiss me before the holiday break. It sucked – really, madly, deeply -- and the spell was broken. He had a girlfriend, anyway. I had a boyfriend. It could never have worked.

A year later, from a computer then co-owned by the aforementioned boyfriend in a high-rise Chicago lakeside apartment, I alighted on this former graduate student’s Myspace page. I no longer trusted said boyfriend, so there was no guilt in clicking. I was immediately reminded how stupid I was in college. A (poorly-written) blog entry of his (I mean, really) had a clever title, but the content just didn’t fit.

Since, I have removed the boyfriend from my world. The lakeside apartment, owned at one time by a pair of Koreans expatriates, now houses some other yuppie couple who definitely paid too much for too little. I earned the job of my dreams, and had it robbed shortly after. In the interim, I’ve misplaced the ability to trust people, especially myself, and confidence comes in erratic waves that, really, are just frustrating. Anxiety is always coiled inside me, though I was pleasantly surprised to find out that was chemical. Contrarily, I am in love and am getting better at that. My ass (though high and tight) has been kicked, worlds have sprung up and crumbled around me, but I find most of it ironically hilarious.

On the path that leads us downward into our own hearts, to plumb the depths of truth, of sex, of identity, of humor, of the burden of consciousness, I keep banging my head. It makes me feel better that the rock has been smoothed by the heads of others that were probably freakishly bigger than mine. Sometimes, when I smack it really hard, the lightbulb on my helmet breaks and it’s dark; other times, I find grottos and caverns inside myself that no one has ever laid eyes on. What am I searching for? Dunno. But I’m trusting the light there will be a brighter than it is along the way.

The graduate student is long gone, older and married at my last check…but his title isn’t.

I stole the name of this blog. In reading it’ll become clear why it makes so much sense.