In which the blogger and his friend, a woman more evil than even he, text a catastrophic plan

Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: They WANT drama. Just tell them some people actually hate phony suck-ups, so knock it off and worry only about you.
Felix Bedingfield: This is all true.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Easier answer than my issues.
Felix Bedingfield: If only we had a Death Star.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: That would be awesome.
Felix Bedingfield: My friend is an architect. Perhaps he can help.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: It's a start, but he won't be much use for weapons.
Felix Bedingfield: I bet Katie could help us with that. We just need a huge sock and $200,000,000,000,000 in quarters...
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: I love it!
Felix Bedingfield: That just leaves the whole space thing.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: I'm sure we can work that out.
Felix Bedingfield: Got it. We need a billion two-liters of Coke and around 40,000 cases of Mentos for initial lift off. Once we get free of gravity it's cake.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: We'll hijack a Mentos truck and stage a takeover at a Coke plant.
Felix Bedingfield: ...I think this could work.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: It's beginning to sound like a real plan.
Felix Bedingfield: With this universal mayhem machine, we can finally address those pesky issues you've been having with the Universe.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: FINALLY.
Felix Bedingfield: Yay.
Felix Bedingfield: I'll be putting this on the blog, you know.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Might want to leave out the word "hijack".