In which the blogger reminds that evil is relative, and is always a good time

"I'd been waiting for the vampire for years when he walked into the bar.

Ever since vampires came out of the coffin (as they laughingly put it) four years ago, I'd hoped one would come to Bon Temps. We had all the other minorities in our little town -- why not the newest, the legally recognized undead? But rural northern Louisiana wasn't too tempting to vampires apparently; on the other hand, New Orleans was a real center for them -- the whole Anne Rice thing, right?

It's not that long a drive from Bon Temps to New Orleans, and everyone who came into the bar said if you threw a rock on a street corner you'd hit one. Though you'd better not.

But I was waiting for my own vampire."

I can't express how excited I am for the new HBO series Tru Blood. It's based on one of my favorite book series, Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Mystery novels.

The recent invention by the Yakanomo Corporation of Japan of a synthetic blood substitute has brought about the Great Revelation, a night when vampires across the globe pirated the airwaves to officially announce their existence to the planet's population. The books, set in and around Bon Temps ("Good Times"), Louisiana, follow the adventures and exploits of Sookie Stackhouse, a small-town barmaid blessed/cursed with the natural gift of telepathy. Sookie has it rough as the most beautiful girl in her small town who everyone thinks is crazy because of her "disability". She's a virgin, if for no other reason than she finds it impossible to have a relationship when she can hear every thought that passes through her date's head.

The first book Dead Until Dark opens with Sookie expressing how badly she wants to meet a vampire. She gets her wish when Bill Compton, a Civil War soldier and Bon Temps' resident bloodsucker, sits in her section at Merlotte's Bar. Sookie quickly realizes she can't hear Bill's thoughts the way she can with others, and the two fall in quickly together.

Harris uses the convention of vampires "coming out" in the modern world, as well as setting her work in small town rural Louisiana to loosely explore themes of racism, homophobia, sexism, betrayal, sex, and the American class system. They make the reader think while being playful, fun, and fast-paced, all written in Sookie's first-person colloquial Louisiana accent.

The advertising for the show has been really impressive, if a little tongue-in-cheek. Really. Check these out. And, if any of you in Chicago has a TiVo and access to HBO, we might be able to work out a deal.

VIDEO: Reach! A Lecture Musical

This is epic.



(I think it was supposed to be "Teach! A Lecture Musical", but, you know...typo.)

VIDEO: Ethel Mermon's, "There's No Business Like Show Business"

Irving Berlin knew what he was talking about. You can be anyone you want to be, or anyone someone else wants you to be, too. All it takes is a costume, a shift in your pitch, and a willing suspension of disbelief.

I've been ruminating on the concept of identity. Does it belong to us, or is there something in the idea that reality is in the eye of the beholder; that once I close my eyes, everything ceases to exist? "I am whatever you say I am..."?

As humans, it's rather necessary for us to require an "us" and a "them" in order to properly organize the world in which we live. I've can personally apply this line of thought to a few parameters: friends and foes; gay and straight; parents and children; boss and employee, et cetera. In all these relationships, identity inevitably becomes a kind of currency, able to be traded to gain certain priveleges or services. Our boss thinks we're one person, which becomes her reality concerning your place in the organizing of her life. Yet, when we're not in the office, that identity ceases to be, and another identity takes its place with our family/friends/enemies. We're someone different when we're with our partner than who we are with friends.

So which identity is true? Is it that fluid? Does this particular coin of trade really belong to us, or is it another tool with which others manipulate and shape the world around us to suit their particular wants and needs? Or is the currency of identity used to buy and sell on behalf of those others ("I'm ________ because ________ is what I think/perceive you want/need me to be.")

Who gets to decide who I am?

Are we doing people favors (good!)? Are we lying to them (bad!)? Is it all really as Berlin said...a show? As long as the audience loves you, you're a star.

There's no people like show people
They smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold
You may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't trade it for a sack o' gold
Let's go on with the show
Let's go on with the show!
The show!
The show!

In which the blogger continues to believe that all the routes to easy cash have been taken

Ever see something...
...and wish to whatever God that ignores you that you had thought of it first? This doesn't just happen with the jokes on Will and Grace to me.

In which the blogger is desperately seeking a subsitute for this summertime treat

I ate a Bomb Pop today. At some point during the consumption, I realized: I have officially lost my gag reflex. I had suspected this was the case, since I've eaten so, so many popsicles. I knew all those hours weren't put in for nothing.

In which the blogger dreams of how sparkly he'll be in the afterlife

I'm having trouble deciding if this concept is incredibly beautiful or sphincter-puckeringly creepy. Either way, it's legitimate.

Coffins Are Out, Diamonds Are...Forever

AFP News Briefs List
by Patrick Baert

At the end of their days, most people end up six feet under or up in flames, others get frozen or mummified.

But some lucky ones are spending eternity as sparkling diamonds, thanks to a peculiar chemical transformation.

For a fee, a company called Algordanza in the eastern Swiss canton of Graubuenden offers a service to turn ashes into precious stones.

Every month, it gets 40 to 50 commissions -- some as far away as Japan.

One came from secretary Lilly Hess-Sollberger, who saw an article about the service and made her daughter Michele Galmarini-Hess promise to call Algordanza when she passed away.

She died three years ago at 82 and her ashes are now a half-carat blue diamond pendant that adorns her daughter's neck.

"I wear it day and night, even when I go to bed. For me she's alive, and it does me good," said Galmarini-Hess who lives in Montreux.

When asked about the diamond, she said some have shuddered but most people find it a "great" idea.

"You can't imagine how many of them ask if they can kiss the stone," she said.

Rinaldo Willy, 28, one of two co-founders of Algordanza, said the commissions come from "all kinds of people -- they could be bus drivers or professors in philosophy."

At the firm's laboratory, about 15 machines run non-stop alongside employees wearing plastic protective glasses who work behind a yellow and black line that visitors are not allowed to cross -- out of respect for the dead.

"Five hundred grams (one pound) of ashes is enough to make a diamond while a human body leaves behind on average 2.5 to three kilograms of ashes," said Willy.

Potassium and calcium, which makes up some 85 percent of the ashes, are first separated from the carbon.

The carbon is then subject to extremely high pressure and heat --1,700 degrees C, a process which compresses it into graphite, a carbon allotrope or a structurally different form of carbon.

More pressure and heat are applied to the graphite to turn it into diamonds -- the hardest allotrope of carbon.

The entire process takes six to eight weeks, hardly a fraction of the time it takes for the formation of natural diamonds which take thousands of years.

When the process is complete, the crude diamond still requires polishing and cutting. Many are cut into heart-shaped stones which can be worn as a pendant or mounted on a ring.

"Each diamond is unique -- the colour varies from dark blue to almost white," said Willy. "It's a reflection of the personality."

-- The industry of 'human diamonds' is booming --

Willy acknowledges that it is impossible to prove that each diamond is indeed made from a particular person's ashes. "DNA burns," he explained.

But the "chemical imprint" of the ashes, determined at its arrival to the laboratory, allows for documentation to be made and for the finished product to be traced, he said.

The whole process costs between 4,500 and 17,000 Swiss francs (2,800 to 10,600 euros or 4,400 to 16,700 dollars), depending on the weight of the resulting stone (from 0.25 to one carat), and does not include the setting of the stone.

Algordanza, which means 'remembrance' in Romansch, one of the four official languages in Switzerland, defends this as a reasonable price.

"A burial could be very expensive: it costs 12,000 euros in Germany," said Willy, who would not divulge his company's revenues.

Not all agree with the process. Undertaker Yannick Abel-Coindoz, who works for the Murith funeral home in Geneva, said he has never received a request to transform ashes into a "life gem", as some call the stones, and has no plans to offer the service.

"It's not in line with our ethics of burial and remembrance," he said. "To wear your loved one as a ring and carry it with you everywhere prevents you from distancing yourself and thereby recovering from the loss."

Yet the industry of 'human diamonds' is booming, with similar companies in Russia, Spain, Ukraine and the United States.

Founded in 2004, Algordanza has already expanded to 20 countries, including six outside Europe, and employs about 100 people in all.

Willy said it is particularly popular in Japan, which sends between two to four urns daily, and the firm is setting its sights on China and India.

For Willy, a mobile world is fueling demand for such services. As people move farther from home, grave upkeep becomes difficult. And though cremation is increasingly popular -- and the norm in some countries -- special permission is generally needed to transport urns across borders.

Though most life gem requests come from families after a loved one's death, Willy said people are starting to ask for his firm's services themselves in living wills before they die.

Individuals can even pay beforehand, with an insurance policy that covers their wish to become a diamond... forever.