In which the blogger exercises his privelege to take a piece of good advice and write about the good stuff

I could write a post about how much spiritually worn out I am by my job; how various neurotic tendencies continue to crop up at inopportune moments in my day; how insatiably horny I am in the summer; how I wish my friends were closer; how I feel like the penniless loser; how I am dreading turning 26 in a month feeling the way I feel about my existence; how I'm dreading the expectation to disappear when my boyfriend's family visits in a few weeks; how I'm terrified that I'm going to end up alone; how vast and wide the missing spaces in my life seem; how I miss doing makeup so much; how I'm drowning in debt; how floating through my days is just not working for me...

But I'm not.

Instead, I'm writing a post about how head over heels in love I am; how hot I look today; how in the summer, I walk around glowing in the sun; how I have the most profound conversations via text messages with my best childhood friend; how yesterday I couldn't stop laughing about deaf porn; how excited I am to finally get started on this hot sauce project; how I had great sex on my couch yesterday afternoon; how bright and deep my eyes look in the photo I randomly snapped today outside by the river; how lucky I am to be somewhat on the ball when it comes to my bills; how soul-satisfyingly beautiful it is to wake up cuddled in my boyfriend's arms; how I have the best cat in the world; how cute my apartment really looks when it's clean; how touching it was to have someone thank me for being their friend; how much fun I'm having keeping this blog; how crazy awesome it felt to totally geek out for ten minutes with my Warcraft friends on Thursday night; how good this fragrance smells on my skin; how fortunate I am to have both parents in good health; how, even though sometimes I'm driven mad by them, I have very loyal friends; how it's pretty fucking cool that I'm able to tell my mom and dad anything without judgment; how I don't have any fear that being gay is going to cost me my family; how I don't have to hide; how hard I work at improving myself in the small moments, even when no one is looking; how I deserve every single little happiness.

The other stuff just seems to be taking up enough space as it is.

In which the blogger shares a universal truth

In which the blogger can't sleep

I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.
I will not use this blog as a passive-aggressive weapon in my struggle to be understood.

Nope.

In which the blogger makes a rare post regarding politics, because he knows that deep down, they're all corrupt anyway

"I didn't write this -- I just wish I had." -Katie Landers

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Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it, too.

He prepares his morning breakfast: bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment checks because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards to go along with the taxpayer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved conservatives have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Note: This was originally published (anonymously) under the title A Day in the Life of Joe Republican. But this is a misnomer. In the last 140 years, the Republican and Democratic parties have switched sides several times, with one being conservative and the other being liberal. But labels and party affiliations change. What doesn't change are the underlying political philosophies of liberalism and conservatism, and the fact that the liberals usually turned out to be right and the conservatives turned out to be wrong. And so it goes.

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(I've italicized a particularly important part to me -- by the way, if anyone knows who actually wrote this, please comment so I can include the author's name)

In which the blogger takes a break from rolling his eyes to share something really cool with his readers

The item at the top of my birthday list: Dinner in the Sky.