VIDEO: "Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix) #3 - The Sims 2

Shut the fuck up.

VIDEO: Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix) #2 - Big Girl Remix

A few points, before we begin:

1. I've seen amateur drag queens who know their words better than these two.
2. Some of the things executed in this video were non-consentual. I did not ask for them. I needed to exfoliate after my initial screening.
3. When all else fails, swing your weave.
4. One of the performers is named "Ton". Oh, and she has a YouTube channel.
5. I can't help loving it when big girls own it for themselves.
6. The end of the video is like a Bizarro-world Maya Angelou card.

VIDEO: "Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix)" #1 -- Mr. Beyonce

I'm fascinated by the phenomenon of homemade "Get Me Bodied (Extended Mix)" dance videos on YouTube. I have no idea what causes this. My odd curiousity regarding the uber self-confident? A morbid fascination with the strange? A voyeurism that extends to poorly decorated row house bedrooms?? I logged onto WebMD and everything, and I still don't know what it is about these that demands my attention.

I can't hold it inside any longer. There's beauty in release, and it is in that spirit I bequeath these oddities to my readers, beginning with the man(?) we lovingly refer to as Mr. Beyonce. Please...SOMEONE explain the costume and lighting choices. WHO IS HOLDING THE CAMERA?!

I urge you, reader, to watch 'til the end -- the "Naomi Campbell walk" is without parallel. Shout out to Aisha and Tamiyah!