In which the blogger philosophizes with the shiny, sparkly Countess

Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Using increasingly alcoholic brownies to get what I want isn’t bad, is it?
Felix J. Bedingfield: Mmm…is it working?
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: I think. I seemed to be losing ground, so I way upped the alcohol…suddenly I get midday texts and am told “Best brownies yet!”.
Felix J. Bedingfield: So the ends justify the means.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: So it would only be bad…if it wasn’t working?
Felix J. Bedingfield: Eh, sometimes you have to get creative. Also, do you really want what it is you think you want?
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Given my attention span, how long do I want anything? But in this case, yeah, I think I really do, for once.
Felix J. Bedingfield: Then go for it! Lure him into your liquor-soaked candy house!!
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Yes, but that would cause a conflict of interests, because I also want to keep him.
Felix J. Bedingfield: Oh, whatever. I’m kicking around the idea of dosing Alan with yohimbe so I can freakin' get some, and I plan on keeping him.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Okay then. Though, him causing me to almost develop morals is a tad bothersome.
Felix J. Bedingfield: You realize we have a history of justifying questionable behavior for one another…right?
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Yes. That’s why I came to you.

In which the blogger explores medical phenomena with the illustrious Countess

Felix J. Bedingfield: Do you think my health issues might be caused by my acid blood?
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Acid blood?
Felix J. Bedingfield: Yeah. Everyone knows you can tell a gay by his acid blood.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Oh, I see. I was hoping it was something useful, like spitting acid.
Felix J. Bedingfield: Kind of. It’s useful for destroying the hearts of stupid boys.
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: Heartburn is in your stomach, so if you would just stop eating the hearts of your enemies, you might feel better.
Felix J. Bedingfield: True, but then how would I absorb their powers?
Countess Bunny Hoppinmad: That is a small problem.